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Kaddish Inspirations

April 2nd, 2012 | Posted by orens in Kaddish - (0 Comments)

Kaddish The Kaddish prayer is supposedly inspired by Ezekiel 38:23 which ends in a hope that one day all nations will sanctify the name of G-d. These words were probably especially meaningful to Ezekiel, who was exiled from his home (with 3,000 other Jews) for his religious beliefs. He later went on to prophesy the destruction of Jerusalem. The end of his life is something of a mystery and is not described in any detail in the Torah or other religious texts.

Today the Kaddish continues to inspire Jews around the globe. It is a unifying prayer that praises G-d and connects those reciting it to the long Jewish tradition. Every time the Kaddish is said it echoes through time and becomes part of the Jewish tradition. This is why the Kaddish is said so often; after study, after prayer, and during the mourning period.

The Kaddish is a prayer of connection. It connects Jews to other Jews and to G-d. That is why it can bring so much comfort to the grieving. It connects them to their deceased loved one. It lets them know that their soul is with the soul of other Jews. It also lets them connect with the fact that Jews throughout time have been mourning, and growing stronger from it.

What the Jewish Prayer for the Dead Means for the Living

March 26th, 2012 | Posted by ChristineM in Kaddish - (0 Comments)

When we think about saying Kaddish, in our minds, we are thinking of those who have passed before us. Our focus is on them and their guidance  towards peace. But we don’t think about how much saying Kaddish means to those who remain left behind. It’s not just about bringing peace to those who have left us, but bringing peace to the living as well.

Mourning is a natural part of life, one we cannot avoid. As long as we care for someone, we will mourn their eventual passing. And the Jewish prayer for the dead is just as much a comfort for us as it is for those who have passed. It makes us feel better, as though we are doing something, making some kind of a difference in a situation that seems inevitable.

And even if you can’t say Kaddish for your own family member or friend, for whatever the reason may be,  you can still have someone else say it on your behalf. You do not have to feel as though you are helpless to the situation. It’ll definitely make you feel better, knowing a service like this can be provided for you or anyone else who cannot say the prayer.

 

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Kaddish Origins

March 19th, 2012 | Posted by orens in Kaddish - (0 Comments)

Mourners KaddishThere is some debate as to when the Kaddish entered Jewish theology but almost everyone agrees it has been around for thousands of years. Originally the Kaddish was said after a sermon by a Rabbi or after rabbinical study. It was a general prayer praising G-d and thanking him for everything he has done.

The Mourners Kaddish differs from other Jewish Kaddish prayers in that it is not sung. Other versions of the Kaddish prayer can be different in content and melody based on region, occasion, and service. The Mourners Kaddish is never sung and always stated slowly and solemnly no matter where and when it is said. In the Sephardi tradition the Mourners Kaddish is chanted by everyone in the synagogue as they stand. Ashkenazi Synagogues have one person lead the prayer while others sit. Another thing that varies somewhat from region to region when saying the Kaddish is posturing. Some people bow during certain parts of the prayer while others remain still for its entirety.

Although the Kaddish is recited as part of traditional Jewish grieving it does not explicitly mention death and is more a general praise of god. The El Maleh Rahamim prayer is a prayer that explicitly mentions the souls of the deceased.

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Stages of Grief

March 12th, 2012 | Posted by orens in Kaddish - (0 Comments)

KaddishAnyone who has recently experienced a loss is probably experiencing some if not all of the 5 stages of loss. The stages are as followed (in order of occurrence) denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Grieving is a process and some stages may take longer to progress through than others. Some people make skip steps altogether. Saying the Kaddish is a helpful tool to reach acceptance and to quell any lingering depression or anger.

Saying the Kaddish allows you to make peace with the fact a loved one has passed. It emphasizes the time you spent together and the impact they had as opposed to their passing. It allows you to re-connect with G-d after an experience as confusing and traumatic as a loss. We cannot decide when our loved ones pass but we can decide whether to grieve for a long time or to come to terms with the loss and move on. You do not want to get bogged down in the mourning process because this can lead to prolonged depression and anger.

By understanding the five stages of loss we can move on more quickly to peace and acceptance. The Kaddish is an important tool in this journey and has been for many years.

Purim

March 5th, 2012 | Posted by orens in Kaddish - (0 Comments)

KaddishWith Purim just around the corner Jews around the world are getting ready to celebrate. The holidays can also bring pain however. If you have recently lost a family member and are celebrating your first Purim without them in a long time you have every right to shed a tear. Just remember they probably wouldn’t want you to spend Purim in a saddened state on their behalf.

Make sure to spend lots of time with your other family members this Purim. Take the time to say the Kaddish with your family. Saying the Jewish prayer for the dead together will bring you closer as a family and will help you deal with your feelings of loss. These feelings are a normal part of the healing process and happen often during the holidays.

The first holiday without someone can be hard. Just remember that Purim is a happy time. Try not to be mournful of your loss but instead be thankful of the family and friends you do have. Enjoy some Purim treats and sweet wine while remembering the fond memories of Purim’s past. The first holidays after you lose someone are always the hardest. Just remember that it only gets easier from here on.

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Having Others Say The Kaddish

February 27th, 2012 | Posted by orens in jewish memorial service | Kaddish - (0 Comments)

kaddishThe tradition of saying the Kaddish on the behalf of others dates back hundreds of years. It is based on the idea that the Jews are one unified people and therefore, by that logic, any Jew can say the Kaddish for any other Jew. If you for whatever reason cannot say the Kaddish, you can hire some other member of your faith to do it for you.

There are many reasons to consult others when saying the Kaddish.  Some people believe only a male can say the Kaddish. This can make it difficult for a family if there are no male relatives. This is one of the situations in which it can be helpful to hire someone to say the Jewish prayer for the dead.

Often people want to memorialize their loved one but are not familiar with the Kaddish prayer. Even people who do know the prayer may not have to the time to say it as often as tradition dictates. It is important to hire someone to say the Kaddish in this situation because it is disrespectful to not have it said at all.

Losing a loved one is hard. Sometimes it is just easier to leave the Kaddish to someone else so you can focus on the other aspects of the mourning period.

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Honoring the Dead

February 21st, 2012 | Posted by orens in Kaddish - (0 Comments)

KaddishMany people gain a sense of closure by honoring a loved one after he or she has passed away. Reciting the Jewish prayer for the dead is an important step, but there are also other things you can do. By engaging with the memory of a lost loved one, we can feel close to them again. This can help assuage the feelings of loss that people normally feel when a loved one passes.

A great way to pay tribute to a loved one is with charity. If the person had a cause near and dear to him or her, working for that cause will be rewarding to you. You will feel connected to your deceased loved one and participating in charity generally alleviates feelings of grief and depression. Actively doing something to honor someone’s memory, like reciting the Kaddish and participating in charity, helps empower you. It gives you some control over your loss. You cannot decide when your loved one passes, but you can decide how to honor him or her and how to react to their passing.

Some of the nation’s largest charities were born out of people coping with loss. Susan G. Komen was founded by Nancy Brinker after her sister died of cancer.

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Kaddish Traditions

February 13th, 2012 | Posted by orens in Kaddish - (0 Comments)

mourners kaddishThe Kaddish was not originally said by mourners. It was said by Rabbis after prayer or studies. The Mourner’s Kaddish was one of the many variants on the prayer later introduced. There is also the Readers’ Kaddish, the Whole Kaddish, and the Kaddish of the Rabbis.

Even the Mourners Kaddish we know today evolved from Sephardi and Ashkenazi traditions. In the Sephardi tradition, which is the one followed most often today, everyone in the congregation says the Kaddish at the same time. In the Ashkenazi tradition dictates that one of the mourners lead the congregation in saying the Jewish prayer for the dead. Some people say that the tradition of all congregation members saying the Kaddish together dates back to the Holocaust. People wanted to recite the Mourners Kaddish for all those who had no one left to say it for them.

The Kaddish has a long tradition in Judaic culture. Although it stretches through the ages it is a living document. It changes to response to the needs to different generations of Jews. It also takes on a personal meaning for each person who says it. It binds Jews together while allowing room for the unique nature of every person’s mourning. Many people find saying the Kaddish a great way to alleviate grief.

Saying Kaddish and Grieving Kids

February 6th, 2012 | Posted by orens in Kaddish - (0 Comments)

kaddishYoung children are always deeply saddened by the loss of a loved one. It can be hard to console a child, let alone explain to him what happened. Explaining the Jewish prayer for the dead to him can be a good way to console him and explain more about his Jewish faith. Jews have been finding solace after loss through saying the Kaddish for a millennia.

By explaining what the Kaddish is to a kid, he understands that death is not the end. Use it as an opportunity to teach your child about Heaven, G-d, and the Jewish Kaddish tradition. Although the loss is saddening, nothing is gained by holding onto that sadness. Besides, your loved one is spending time with G-d Himself, so he certainly isn’t sad.

You should remind your youngster that his loved one is being prayed for every week and that he can pray for the person whenever he wants. If he ever feels sad, or misses that connection to the person, he can connect with that person through the Kaddish. It also helps to do good deeds to honor the person’s memory and maintain a feeling of connection after he passes.

Although painful, when handled correctly, explaining loss to a child can ultimately be a growing experience.

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Remembering a Loved One

January 30th, 2012 | Posted by orens in jewish memorial service | Kaddish - (0 Comments)

Jewish prayer for the deadWe all want to be remembered when we die. Luckily, we Jews have an excellent method for memorializing our dead. I am speaking, of course, about saying Kaddish. Kaddish is the traditional Jewish prayer for the dead. More importantly it is part of the age old Jewish process of dealing with loss, remembering the deceased, and ensuring their soul blasts from our plane of existence into heaven like a rocket from the crypt.

The important thing to remember is you do not have to be the one saying the Kaddish. Ideally the deceased’s son says the prayer but any Jew can do it. Jews can even say it on each other’s behalf; this tradition dates back to the 1600s. It speaks to the centuries old tradition of Jews helping each other. If you cannot say the Kaddish, you should absolutely make sure someone else can cover for you. You should also engage in acts of charity on the behalf of the deceased.

Say Kaddish has been memorializing fellow Jews for a long time. They understand how important the memory and spirit of your loved one is to you. You should not hesitate to call on their services should something come between you and saying Kaddish.

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